I had a short conversation with a friend today. One thing came out of it. It was a valuable lesson to me. I wonder if it was valuable for him as well.
He was explaining certain struggles he was going through and the last thing I told him when the conversation was complete, was that if you see the ugly side of things you will get more of that. If you see the beauty in everything that also is what you will get.
We have all been around people who choose to only see what is wrong with a situation, but we never think that we are the one that is looking at the ugliness. We often times think that others are what is wrong with the world, the neighborhood, society, the job.
I should take a look at the things which I choose to give power to. Everything exists as it is. For instance, my perception of a driver who cuts me off in traffic does not make the driver a bad driver or a good driver. My perception that everyone else is a moron makes me what I am, not the other way around. Suppose your beloved family member cut someone off in traffic on the way to visit you. When the person arrives to greet you, nothing is said about the rude behavior in traffic. It still happened, but you know nothing about it so your feelings about the family member may be different than the person who was cut off in traffic.
To the other driver, your family member is a bad person, a jerk, or whatever ugly thing that he or she sees. To you the family is beloved, or good, The family member is just going through life, doing whatever needs doing, and has his or her own perceptions about his/herself. The family member is neither good, nor bad, two different perceptions made the family member good or bad because of what was chosen to be seen.
This becomes important for us as we go through our journey. Someone, maybe a boss, might yell or say unkind things to us. That doesn’t make us who we are, that is someone expressing something. If we choose to be offended, or have any negative reaction, that doesn’t define the person who yells, it defines us. Being yelled at is never pleasant, but what other things can we see in the person behaving in such a manner? Is there beauty there. Most of us would say no, however, our world is a reflection of our perceptions, and if we choose to see the ugliness in that behavior, we will receive more of it. If we choose to see beauty, we will receive more beauty.
I am not saying that being treated badly is beautiful, or that we should allow ourselves to be treated any less, sometimes it is hard to find beauty. In fact when you first start searching for it, even in the ugliest of circumstances, it is extremely difficult. Keep searching for the beauty, don’t give up, because it is there. The more you find, the more you will recognize and the easier it will become to recognize.
Develop a mantra that can be easily repeated several times a day such as:
I am beautiful. Beauty is attracted to me and I see only beauty in everything around me.
Thanks and have a great day.