When Things Go Wrong
I wrote this note several months ago. I don’t remember the context that it came from but I must have known that it would mean something at some time in the future. Today is that day. When I began writing about the notes to self I shuffled through them to jog my memory. I saw this one among others and thought about my current situation. When I finished, I stacked them neatly on the desk, not knowing which note I would write about first.
When I came back to begin writing I flipped through the stack and read them all. This one sat on the bottom of the stack and I remembered thinking about it when I saw it before. It must have been giving me a message. Maybe it’s time for me to start listening to the messages that are out there for me, I thought. I decided to take this one and run with it.
I have been experiencing back pain recently. It has been severe enough that I have taken a week off of my regular job and been to the doctor. I’m told that the pain I am experiencing can last six to eight weeks, not something that I wanted to hear. I have had back pain before and It always goes away, eventually. Every time it seems as though it will never go away, and each time, it finally subsides without my thinking about it. This time it was severe enough that I was given a stronger anti-inflammatory drug; It hasn’t helped the pain.
So, what does all this have to do with today’s note? This event is like a block. A block of time. A block of pain. A block of events. In each of these blocks certain events have taken place. For instance, within the block of pain, It has been shown to me that the people that surround me care about my well-being and comfort. My wife has been patient with me and has done what she can to bring me comfort. She has also come up with ideas to help alleviate the pain.
We’ve talked a few times about going through pain (she has experienced her fair share) and one thing we have agreed on that helps is thinking about a point in the future. A week in the future, a month. This moment in time, as painful as it is, will be in the past. This latest episode has lasted three weeks so far. There were two or three days at the end of the second week that the pain brought me to my knees. Everyone experiences pain, I’m no different in that regard, but what I’ve learned from this is that I will get through, the pain will subside and I will move on better from the experience. It is hard, no doubt, to focus on that future ray of light, but I did what I could to bring myself out of the temporary misery. I did have help. I had someone to gently nudge me during my low points and though sometimes it was hard to heed the words, I have worked on my attitude and outlook.
I’m now at a point in my recovery that I can do more than I was able to before, and I’m focusing on good outcomes. My attitude has survived and I can continue with the work of writing blogs and publishing books with the knowledge that any rut that I may be in will eventually pass. I hope this helps you to get through any hard time you may experience.