We’ve all heard of the Fear Of Missing Out. I have Food FOMO. That’s right, it’s true and I admit it. This is part of the problem; when i see rich, flavorful food, I can’t resist for fear of missing out.

Sure it may be ridiculous to you, but to me, it’s real. I have a deep relationship with food that goes back to when I was a child. Food equates to love. That’s how we show love to people; let’s go to breakfast, let’s do lunch. Food is important because we need it to survive and parents love their children and hope for them to survive so it’s easy to see that food equals love, and we all want to be loved.

Growing up on our birthdays my mother would make us a special meal, something we did for our children growing up. I always asked for tacos. My parents loved food and brought us to so many events that were centered around food; restaurants, barbecues, picnics. Food played an important role in all special occasions.

Maybe some people could be surrounded by food and not be affected, not me. I had to try everything and extra of what I did like. I was thin as a rail and could put the food away like a full grown man. I continued this habit into my adulthood. I remember going to events only thinking about what food would be there and what time it would be served, not wanting to show up until then so I could go straight to the food. Once there I would graze until time to leave.

For years, everyday on the way home from work I would stop at the convenience store and grab a snack, (actually enough calories to be considered a meal) then go home and have a full dinner, eating until I could burst. I had a high metabolism for years and didn’t gain too much weight, so I was okay.

I had always promised myself that I wouldn’t get fat and around the age of forty I knew it might happen so I began lifting weights seriously. I poured myself into it and tracked every workout I’ve ever done. I put on pounds of muscle and gained a lot of strength. In order to put an muscle one has to eat a lot. That’s right up my alley. I strapped on the old feed bag and ate everything in sight.

Pretty soon, with all the muscle I added to my frame the extra fat couldn’t be seen. I began leaving my shirt in tucked along the way so the bump above my waist couldn’t be seen, and because of the pain caused by the belt buckle digging into my belly. Still, no cause for alarm because I looked big and strong, and that’s what food is supposed to do, right?

So here I am now. I see pizza, burgers, sandwiches, anything and I don’t want to miss out. I crave a taste of it. I gave up meat about a year ago for health reasons and I still crave it but have gotten over the missing out part of it. I have up all dairy recently and I haven’t had any cravings yet, but I know they’re coming. For now I’m avoiding salt oil and sugar; SOS. I’m doing this to allow my body to heal. I’ve spent a long time putting the wrong fuel in my body and now it’s time to give it what it needs to work efficiently.

I’m not trying to convince anyone to do anything. I’m sharing thoughts about my food addiction. I’m also not saying that I’ll never eat salt oil or sugar again. I don’t know, but I need to do something and today I start day three of No SOS.

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